Many years ago, I was involved in a group discussion about, essentially, complaining. As a group, we were trying to negotiate when we knew it was time to complain about something. We talked about feelings of resentment and irritation and wondered if this was enough to engender a complaint. Next we moved onto whether it was okay to just complain or if we needed to do something about it.
One woman then said something that I’ve not forgotten. She had a simple rule of thumb: If she was complaining about someone’s behaviour to the third person, then she had to take it up with the instigator. So simple, so brilliant! At best, this rule of thumb means that you address the issue, and at worst it means you stop whingeing about the person. I love it!
I’ve now moved it into a broader arena of my life. If I hear myself complaining about anything for the third time, it’s time to address it.
How does this work out on a practical basis? Well, recently I heard myself talking to someone about how annoying I found my new e-mail program to organise, chiefly as I’d moved over from a different program and hadn’t taken the time to learn how to use it. As I spoke, I mentally registered that I’d heard myself talk about this before to one, two.. uh, oh- time to address it.
The result? I’ve just spent the morning learning a little and sorting a lot with the result that I have a cleared in-box and knowledge how to do it.
Would love to hear if you have a similar system and how it works for you!
One woman then said something that I’ve not forgotten. She had a simple rule of thumb: If she was complaining about someone’s behaviour to the third person, then she had to take it up with the instigator. So simple, so brilliant! At best, this rule of thumb means that you address the issue, and at worst it means you stop whingeing about the person. I love it!
I’ve now moved it into a broader arena of my life. If I hear myself complaining about anything for the third time, it’s time to address it.
How does this work out on a practical basis? Well, recently I heard myself talking to someone about how annoying I found my new e-mail program to organise, chiefly as I’d moved over from a different program and hadn’t taken the time to learn how to use it. As I spoke, I mentally registered that I’d heard myself talk about this before to one, two.. uh, oh- time to address it.
The result? I’ve just spent the morning learning a little and sorting a lot with the result that I have a cleared in-box and knowledge how to do it.
Would love to hear if you have a similar system and how it works for you!
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