There’s a bit of a trend around (or is it perhaps just the web-based company I keep?) that involves self-effacing admissions of imperfect parenting (Like I don’t shape my toddler's gluten-free home-baked-bread sandwiches into zoo animals!" and "It's been 6 weeks since the birth and I'm not back to size zero!" And, by golly, I’m joining in.
If it were up to me to write a curriculum for pre-natal classes, I’d chuck out all that guff about breathing and baby floating on waves and instead focus on the brutal reality of parenting, the massive dropping of standards when you bring that pink thing home.
The program would be called “Effluvial Moments: The Truth about Parenthood” and would include the topics
-Prideful Pyjama Wearing,
-Ugg Boots: your new best friend,
-Nipple inspection: Where is it okay?
-When can I trust a sneeze again?
-How to control your reflux reflex,
-Abandoned cups of tea, and
-You’ve got 2.5 minutes. Go!
Ah, and what’s it all for? For that moments like the one here wgbwhen your child/ren falls asleep and your heart is heavy with wonder and amazement and a crushing, overwhelming love. For about two and half minutes when they wake up and it starts all over again…
Any suggestions for what you would include?