Ingrid Poulson
  • Home- Toddlers
  • 12-18 months
  • 18-24 months
  • 24-36 months
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Miles and Peggy: Miles' words of advice on welcoming your new sibling.

9/23/2013

9 Comments

 
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The big day has arrived and the event that mummy and daddy have been threatening you with for the last few months has happened. New baby is home.

New baby doesn’t do much-  just sleeps and cries a lot- and to be honest they are kind of cute.  But they do something that you must guard against from day one: they steal your spot on The Lap. One minute it’s your spot, and then all of a sudden every time you look up that baby is on there, sucking in the goodness and love of mummy and daddy.

So, here are some tips and strategies that I’ve used over the last week in making sure the parental attention is focused back where it should be: on Me.

It’s all about the timing.  You will need to be hypervigilant to cues and identify moments of parenting weakness, such as when mummy and daddy haven’t slept or have spent some time dealing with Telstra or Centrelink.   Start escalating those skills you’ve been honing over the last few months when you noticed that 100% of mummy or daddy’s attention hasn’t been on you, like when they are on an important business call, talking to someone or on the loo.  Then, when you spot baby being lifted up onto The Lap, try the following:

1.     Start simply by raising your voice and yelling “MummyMummyMummy” without drawing breath.  If baby is crying, you will need to be louder than baby.  You may also pre-emptively strike by starting when baby is sleeping and standing right next to their head when you start. Rest assured that baby will be crying soon.

2.     Thrash around on the floor screaming “I’m a baby, I’m a baby!”.  Another version of this is to yell “I’m a doggy” and start licking everything.

3.     Up-end your toy box (es) and use hands, legs and feet to scatter toys in as many directions as possible.  This is particularly effective when you have just spent half and hour being coaxed and helped through ‘packing up time’ and are just two lego pieces  and a crayon short of having everything put away.

4.     Sift through the piles of toys until you locate the wooden hammer (NB every toy collection has a wooden hammer).  Go just out of view and hit things whilst yelling “Hammer, hammer, hammer”.  I’ve found hitting the bottom of the metal bin, the glass door and grandma to be particularly effective.

5.     Walk out of the bathroom holding the toilet brush.  For added efficacy, hold mummy or daddy’s toothbrush in your other hand.

6.     Clamber onto mummy’s leg or back and yell “Horsey time” then start vigorously bouncing up and down.

7.     Ask for specific foods or drinks and, when they are handed to you, up-end them instantly and smack your hands into the mess to increase the splatter zone.  This is great for milk -based drinks in particular.

8.     Demand to be read a book.  For some reason, mummy and daddy think it’s reasonable to be demanding about being read to.

9.     Remove every single book from the bookshelf and throw vigorously onto the floor or at the wall.  If this doesn’t prove effective, start tearing out pages. Works well with library or borrowed books.

10.  Climb into the dishwasher.

11. Save this one for emergencies:  Hide behind the couch until mummy is settled and take off your pants.  Leap out yelling “Pooh Pooh” and simultaneously release the Velcro fasteners from both sides of your nappy.  As the nappy dumps onto the carpet shout “Jumping on the bed time” and run towards their bedroom.

12. If all of this fails, go into your room and be really, really quiet.  This one should only take about 2 minutes.

Hope these tips help and remember, be attentive to maintain attention!

Love Miles.


9 Comments
Sarah link
9/23/2013 09:18:06 am

Miles my dear you clearly havent thought this through. When my darling girl Poppy became a sister at the tender age of 5 she simply told every old lady in every shopping centre who asked 'whats your little brothers name'. 'um I forget...' for 3 months. Big hugs big brother x

Reply
Ness
9/23/2013 09:29:14 am

Brilliant! :) xxx

Reply
Terrie
9/23/2013 05:39:59 pm

All's right with the world, then.

Reply
Janice Poulson
9/23/2013 05:46:14 pm

Only just found this. Very funny Inge! Enjoyed it immensely. Hold on to that sense of humour-it will get you through. Love and hugs. Mum

Reply
Natasha Sym
9/23/2013 07:12:50 pm

Ohhh. You made me laugh so hard. Yes - I remember D initiating toilet training when J came along and whenever breast went into mouth, there was a sudden 'NOW MUMMY!'. We also had brushing toilet with tooth brush strategy. But you are right. The most effective was go into room and be extremely quiet :-) Can't wait to keep reading these posts!

Reply
Ingrid Poulson
9/24/2013 04:23:52 pm

Thanks all! Miles has proven to be a very doting brother, even if a little attention hungry!

Reply
Rosanne Feneley
9/25/2013 10:59:12 pm

Dear Ingrid,

Congratulations on the arrival of baby no. 2 & very humorous "advice from Miles" on how to get back your attention!

With love,

Rosanne Feneley

Reply
Ingrid
9/26/2013 06:21:40 pm

Thanks Rosanne!

Reply
essay writing link
11/9/2014 05:35:37 am

Humorous article I am would rather not want my child to read this blog, but the points are good and definitely steel the attention from the new baby but some of them are too drastic while some made me laugh. I appreciate that you wrote something different would like to read more about this topic.

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